


Nothing Even Matters

by naomilpick



Series: Nothing Even Matters [1]
Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-31 20:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/347844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naomilpick/pseuds/naomilpick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Logan and Kendall are finally together, and Kendall is thinking back on all that they had to go through to get where they are today, but none of it mattered with Logan by his side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surprise

(Kendall's POV)

I walked into 2J after finishing a morning swim and noticed a delicious smell emanating from the kitchen. Hmm. Smells like mom's making lunch.

At the sound of my rumbling stomach, my feet automatically started to walk towards the aroma. What I saw next kind of threw me off guard. Logan's making lunch? I don't think I've ever seen him cook before.

With his back facing me and his face in the oven, totally preoccupied with his work (because that's just way he is), he hadn't noticed my entrance. So, I just stood for a few minutes admiring my amazingly, wonderful boyfriend. It took all my will power not to run up to him and kiss him senseless right there.

After about 5 minutes of not saying anything, he still hadn't seen me standing there, so I decided to get his attention.

Moving very stealthily across the tile floor of the apartment, I came to stand behind and wrapped my arms around his waist. He let a little startled gasp and tensed up a little, but after only a second, he relaxed against my touch.

"I thought I told you not scare me like that," he whispered as he laid his head against my shoulder.

"Mmm, you did," I said, placing little kisses all along his neck, "but I wasn't scaring you," kiss, "I was surprising you." kiss, "Those are two totally different actions."

He let a small moan of pleasure, "Yea. Just keep making up excuses," he said, even though he was making no effort to refuse my gentle caresses, or even try to sound even the slightest bit upset with me. He shifted in my arms, turning around to face me. Pressing his hands against my chest, he placed a gentle, chaste kiss to my awaiting lips.

As he pulled away, I grinned, "So, I guess that this means you forgive me?"

"Yes, you're forgiven, but now you're just distracting me," he said sniffing the air behind him. "And if lunch is ruined, it's your fault."

"Aw, don't sweat it, Logie-bear. We could just order take out, cuddle up on the couch and watch your favorite movie," I said as seductively as I possibly could.

Apparently it didn't quite have the effect I wanted, "But, Kenny," Logan said, giving me his puppy dog face he had picked from spending to much time with Katie, "I worked really hard on this meal. I'd hate for it to go to waste." He just had to stick out that pouty bottom lip of his.

I rolled my eyes, I was a total sucker that look, "Alright, what do you need me to do to help?"

His face lit up like a kid's on Christmas morning as he started explaining what I was supposed to do. I started slicing up the rest of the vegetables for the soup he had going. Throwing the occasional glance Logan's way, I began to think about what we had gone through to get to where we were today. It hadn't been easy...

Flashback - 14 months ago

I sat on the orange couch surfing the channels on a quiet Saturday afternoon, thankful that Gustavo had given us a day off to just relax. James had said he was going to go work on his tan, since he hadn't had the chance for a week because of all the rehearsals. Carlos said he was going to the pool too, something about trying out a new dive he had invented to see how many people he could soak at one time. Logan had just simply stated that he was going to look for Camille, and Mom and Katie were out 'bonding' for the afternoon. I was all alone in 2J. Sometimes I enjoyed the time to myself.

I only seemed to get about 20 minutes before I was suddenly startled by the door to the apartment slamming so hard that picture frames on the wall shuddered in response.

I turned to see Logan running into the bedroom that we shared. I hadn't been sure, but I could have sworn I saw tears streaming down his face. I turned the television off and jumped up to chase after him.

When I walked into our room, I was faced with the most depressing sight I had ever seen. Logan was curled up on his bead, screaming and sobbing into his pillow. I heard a muffled, "I can't believe this," and, "How could she?"

I walked over to his bed, and felt it sink as I sat down next him. I placed a hesitant hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him as only a best friend could. "Logan, what happened?"

He turned to sit up and face me with puffy, red eyes. He tried to stifle back another sob as he spoke, "C-Camille, she...I-I saw her...and then h-he...a-and she k-kissed b-back." He started sobbing harder again. Even though he hadn't formed a coherent sentence, I understood what he meant; Camille had cheated on him.

"Are you sure she hadn't just been rehearsing for a role?" I asked, trying to make him feel a little better. "You know what kind of a method actress she can be." He just sat there trying to breathe at a normal pace.

He had calmed down enough that he could finally get the words out, "N-nobody is that good of an actor, so I c-confronted her about it, a-and she said it was over. S-she didn't even seem s-sorry about it." As he spoke, another single tear rolled down his cheek. Without thinking, I just reached up and wiped the tear away with my thumb, letting it linger there just a few seconds longer before I dropped my hand.

"I tried my b-best not to break d-down in front of her, b-but I lost control in the elevator. Thankfully n-nobody was around," he said while attempting to smile. It was just so pathetic that it was adorable.

Wait, where did that come from?

I had never thought about Logan as adorable. He was my best friend...and a dude. I'm not gay. And neither is he. We both have had many girlfriends. It came with being in a famous boy band.

Before I could realize what I was doing, I leaned in to wrap Logan in a tight, friendly, embrace. But the feelings of warmth that spread through me at his touch were anything but friendly. And in that moment, wrapped up in his arms, it seemed like time just stood still, and nothing else mattered.

A week and a half after the incident with Camille, I started noticing different things about Logan. Like, how cute he was in the morning before he had the chance to fix his hair, and how he bit his lip and scrunched his face when he was trying really hard to concentrate on something. I had to stop myself from biting my lip at the same time. It would probably help if I wouldn't glance up at him every few minutes while we were working on our homework for Miss Collins.

Thankfully, Carlos came into the room, currently avoiding his work, and said that we had to go to Rocque Records to rehearse some dances for our next show. That should hopefully take my mind of Logan for at least a few hours.

Oh, how wrong I was.

All through the dances, he was all I could focus on. I started tripping over my own feet, and forgetting my next move or position. Gustavo was totally loosing his patience, and he started yelling at me, "Dog number 1, pull yourself together, or you're going to be here until midnight!"

Kelly jumped in before his head could explode, "Guys, just take a 5 minute break, then we can run the dance again."

I collapsed against the wall with my hands in head. This was ridiculous, I should have been able to handle myself around Logan. I mean we've been best friends since kindergarten.

"Kendall, what's going on with you, man?" the man in question asks.

I couldn't even look him in the eyes as I answered, "I don't know. I guess I'm just distracted."

He clapped his hand on my shoulder, not even realizing what that single touch did to me, "Look, I know you and Jo have been having some hard times, but you've gotta focus 'cause I don't want to be here all night." Little did he know that he was the object of my distraction, not Jo.

I agreed and rose to my feet, only be to captured by his arms in a comforting hug. And it was everything I could do to not turn my head just a few inches and seize his lips in a hungry kiss.

When Gustavo had us come back to run the dance again, my body went on automatic and just got through the dances without much help from me.

After we got back to the Palm Woods about 2 hours later, I went up to the apartment and straight into the bathroom to take a shower. I stood under stream of water, just letting it wash away the tension I was feeling.

Just as I was beginning to finally relax, I heard banging on the door and a very irritated James yelling on the other side, "Come on, Kendall. You've been in there for 30 minutes now, and you know there is a very long process I have to go through to get ready for bed. I don't look this amazing naturally," he rambled.

I let my breath in a huff, "Just a minute, James. I'm almost done." I heard him stomp away down the hall. I turned the water off and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around my hips. I walked out the door with barely enough to get out of James' way as he plowed his way into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him.

I made my way into mine and Logan's room, which was empty at the present time. I walked to my dresser to grab a pair of boxers. I had just enough time to pull them on before I heard the door knob squeak from being turned.

I spun on my heels towards the door to notice Logan coming in the room, biting his lip because he was so caught up in reading the book he was holding.

"Hey, Kendall. You should totally read this book. It's really..." he trailed off as he finally looked up, eyes raking up and down my entire frame before his eyes met mine in an intense stare, his mouth agape.

I wonder what's up with him? He's never reacted this way before.

"Logan, why are you look-" Before I could register what was happening, I was cut off by Logan's lips pressed hard against mine. I was too shocked to respond at first, but after a few moments I was kissing him back. His hands snaking there way around my waist, and rubbing small circles on my back.

My hands found there way up under the hem of his t-shirt, as I felt his tongue slide across my bottom lip, requesting entrance, which I granted without a second's thought. We were exploring each others mouths like this was the only chance we were ever going to get.

When the need for air became too much, I unwillingly pulled away, and rested my forehead against the shorter boy's in front of me. Breathing heavily, I asked, "What was that for? Not that I'm complaining, I quite enjoyed it."

"I've been wanting to do that for the past week," Logan says with a mile-wide grin on his face.

Shock. That's all I felt. Did he really just say what I think he said? "You have? I thought I was the only one holding in these feelings."

"You're not the only one who thought that." I grinned as he gently kissed me again. "So what are we going to do about this now?"

Instead of answering, I just decided to do what I have wanted to do all week long. I pushed Logan up against our bedroom wall, and claimed his lips hungrily with my own. I began to trail across his jaw line and down his neck, and he let out a groan in response.

"So does this make us official then?" he asked as I continued to pepper his neck with kisses.

I stopped and looked into his dark-brown eyes, "Nothing would make me happier," I said as he rested his forehead against me shoulder. I spent the rest of the afternoon just holding Logan against my chest, not willing to ever let go.


	2. Friends Should Stick Together

Present Day:

"Ow!" I yelled as I sliced the blade of the knife across my thumb. "Gosh that hurt!"

Logan dropped the spoon he had been using to taste the soup and ran over to me as I cradled my hand against my chest. "What did you do?" he asked, inspecting the wound.

"I cut my finger with that damn knife. What's it look like I did?" I said sarcastically.

Logan rolled his eyes, "There's no need to be mean." He started to turn and walk away before I grabbed his arm holding him in place.

"Where are you going?" I asked, even sounding pathetic in my own ears.

"Don't worry, I'll be right back. I have to go get the first aid kit from the bathroom to clean your cut, so it doesn't get infected." Then he was gone and thankfully back by my side in less than 10 seconds. "Now I need you hold out your hand. And don't move it, even though this may sting." I love it when he goes into doctor mode, it's just so sexy.

He poured some alcohol on a cotton ball and started to dab at the cut. I winced, trying to hold back a whimper.

"Well, it doesn't seem to deep. So at least you won't need stitches." he said while cleaning my injury. "What were you thinking about anyway, that had you so distracted, you cut yourself?" he asked, chuckling lightly.

I threw him my signature smirk, "I was just thinking about the first night I held you in my arms as my official boyfriend. Best night of my life."

"Yea," Logan said with a smile, but as he spoke again, he let out a sigh, "But don't you remember the hell we had to go through after that?"

"I do, but I'd go through all of it again, a thousand times over, just to be with you."

Flashback – 11 months ago

All was silent in 2J, especially since James and Carlos were down at the pool, probably shamelessly flirting with all the girls. Me and Logan were watching a movie in the living room. Katie was spending the day with her friends, and Mom had decided to go to the spa to relax.

These were the kind of days that I cherished. The times that I could just spend time with my boyfriend, not worrying about who was around us. Logan and I had been dating for about two months now, but we still hadn't come out to anybody yet. Not even James or Carlos knew, and they were our closest friends. During one of our late night talks in our room, we had decided we weren't quite ready for everyone to know that we had a thing for each other. So we had kept us a secret, only stealing the occasional glance across the room or just letting our hands bump against one another, just so we knew the other was there when we couldn't actually reach out and hold them.

But right now it didn't matter, so now was as good a time as ever to make a move. As I saw Logan shift in his seat, I infiltrated my ingenious plan. I stretched my arms up in the air at the same time that I stretched my legs in front of me, placing them on the table and leaning back into a reclining position. When I brought my arms back down a second later, I elusively placed one them on the couch behind Logan's head and draped it around his shoulders.

A second later, I heard him chuckle. Glancing at my hand, he reached up to lace our fingers together, "Okay, I'll give you some credit. That was kind of smooth." He shifted once again, but this time he leaned his head over on my shoulder.

"Well, you know me. Always thinking on my feet."

"Technically, you're sitting down." I chuckled at his sarcastic comment, and I turned my head to place a gentle kiss to his left temple.

"You're so cute when you have to be right, did you know that?" He let a sigh of contentment and cuddled a little more into my side.

"I wish we could just stay like this, and not have to worry about who sees us together." I noted the hint of sadness that came through his voice that was so hidden anybody else would have probably missed it, but I always picked up on the subtle things about Logan.

I hooked my index finger under his chin to make him look me in the eyes, "Maybe this will help you feel better." I closed the gap and pressed my lips to his in a firm yet sweet kiss.

I pulled away after a few seconds, and Logan groaned at the sudden relinquish of contact. "Did I say you could stop?"

I grinned, completely ignoring the movie playing on the screen, and wrapped both my arms around his torso, pulling him in for another long, heated kiss.

As the kiss deepened, I pushed Logan down to lay on the couch, hovering above him. With my left hand lingering on his hip, my right found its way to the back of his neck, playing with the hairs at the nape. His hands made their way up back and tangled into my hair in one swift movement, pulling me even closer to his body.

We were so lost in our euphoria that we didn't notice the apartment door swing open, revealing a completely shocked James and Carlos.

"Oh. My. God!" Carlos shouted.

I jumped off the couch looking at a very red-faced Logan before turning to look at James and Carlos. "Uh...H-hi guys," was all I was able to stutter out.

"Dude, you do know that's Logan you're kissing, right?"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." I said glaring at James. "I'm quite aware of who's lips I'm touching."

Carlos jabbed his fingers into, while childishly chanting, "La, la, la...Dude, spare us the details." I just rolled my eyes.

James just stood just looking from me to Logan for a few moments before his eyes returned back to me, "So, do either of you care to explain what the hell is going on here?"

Everyone's eyes turned to look at me. I guess they just assumed that being the leader meant I had to spill everything.

My eyes wandered from Carlos then to James before turning to look at Logan, who looked like he could die of embarrassment, "Do you want me to tell them?"

"No, no. I-I'll do it." He took two deep breaths of air to steady himself before he spoke. "Kendall and I are dating." At that confession, James and Carlos' mouths dropped. "We have been for a little over two months now."

The tension in the atmosphere instantly became so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

Carlos was the first to break the silence trying to hold back a snort, "So when did you two realize you were a couple of fags?"

I turned my head around to face Carlos with such speed, that I felt like I gave myself whiplash, "Excuse me? What the hell did you just call us?" I asked stepping forward, almost like I was punch him directly in the face. Believe me, I definitely wanted to.

But before I could do or say anything else, James jumped in, "I believe the term he used was fag," he said drawing it out with a sound of total disgust.

My eyes widened in shock. These guys were supposed to be my two closest friends, they were practically my brothers. And this is how they wanted treat me and Logan?

"Like you're one to talk pretty boy!" I yelled at my so called 'best friend'. "You spend more time in front of a mirror than everyone else in this apartment combined!"

He took it as a challenge and got directly in my face, "Just because I care about how I look when I go somewhere doesn't make me...!"

We were so into our fight that we didn't notice Logan get off the couch; that is until he started screaming, "Would you guys just shut up!" which abruptly ended our quarrel.

Logan was so mad that tears were streaming out of his chocolate brown eyes and down his face in a matter of seconds.

We were all just staring, too surprised to say anything, and shocked at seeing so much rage come out of him. I mean, this was Logan. He was supposed to be the rational one, the one who always had his head on straight.

But I guess even the best of us has a breaking point.

As he started to speak again, he tried but failed to choke back a sob that escaped his lips, "You know out of everyone, I expected you guys to be the ones to support us. But I guess that's asking too much of a best friend."

Before anyone else could say a word, Logan turned on his heels and ran out the door of the apartment, with the tears still flowing.

I turned to chase after him. Stopping when I was about halfway to the door, I looked over my shoulder back at Carlos and James, "I agree with him. Some best friends you are." I didn't wait for a response. I was afraid that if I stayed in that room any longer, I would've started throwing punches, and I know I would regret it later if I did. So I ran full speed to where I knew Logan would be. The roof of the Palm Woods.


	3. I Got Your Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I decided to right a little bit in Logan's POV and see how it goes.

Logan's POV

I ran out of the apartment, totally furious at my friends; the tears still flowing like torrents. What kind of a friend would treat you like that? I mean, sure it was a huge surprise for them, it had been for me too; it's not I like planned for this to happen. But doesn't ten years of friendship mean anything?

My mind kept going over and over these kinds of thoughts before I noticed that I was on the roof of the Palm Woods Hotel. I don't exactly remember wanting to go to the roof, but since I was there, I might as well try to get my mind off of things.

I laid down flat on my back to just stare up at the stars. How had it got dark so fast? Well, the few that you could see through all the smog. L.A. had nothing on Minnesota when it came to star-gazing.

I closed my eyes and got lost in the feeling of the cool, night breeze settling around my cheeks. Almost like the gentle caress of a lover.

I was overcome with thoughts of Kendall, and how I had just ran off, leaving him to deal with James and Carlos on his own. Wow, some boyfriend I turned out to be.

I let a few more stray tears roll down the sides of my face and hit the ground below me. I've got to stop all this crying. I may be gay, but I'm still not a chick. I have my dignity and my reputation to keep intact, I thought to myself, while another part of me just screamed, Oh, screw it. Screw my reputation. Nobody can even see me up here. Just get it off your chest, man.

I turned my head when I heard soft footsteps making there way towards me. I looked up into the beautiful, green eyes of my best friend and boyfriend, Kendall Knight.

Without saying a word, he laid down beside me, and I reached my arm up and draped it around his waist, while resting my head on his chest. I felt his arm curve around my shoulders, in a clearly comforting way.

We stayed that way for nearly 15 minutes before he decided to break the silence with deep sigh, "Baby, are you going to be okay?" Nothing but concern for me laced his voice as he spoke.

I pressed my face closer into his side and let out a small sob before answering, "Yea, I'll be fine. How did you even know I would be up here? I didn't even know I'd be here." I asked curious as to how he knew where I would be.

"Oh, come on, Logie. I'm the one that brought you here. For our first date, remember?"

I laughed lightly, "How could I forget? You were so nervous, you kept tripping over your own feet and stumbling through your words. You were a mess. But that's what made you so adorable, and made the date so amazing." We sat for another minute in a comfortable silence. "Look, Kenny...I just – I wanted to apologize for leaving you there by yourself. I didn't mean to run out on you, but I just couldn't take the looks of disgust in their eyes. Especially knowing they were aimed at us." I continued sobbing while I felt Kendall start to rub small circles on my back.

"Sweetheart, you have nothing to apologize for," he said while kissing my head. "James and Carlos were just acting like a couple of douche bags." He chuckled lightly to himself, "You know they were probably just jealous that I snatched you up before either of them could."

I chuckled into his shoulder, "Well, I have always thought that James was secretly gay. I mean, come on, no dude cares that much about his appearance unless they're gay."

"I agree, but I doubt he would ever admit to it. He's too proud." I could practically hear Kendall roll his eyes.

I laughed again and settled into another relaxing silence with my boyfriend; nothing but the sounds of his heart thudding in his chest and our steady breathing.

Kendall's POV

It felt like we just laid there for hours, content just to be in each others company.

My cell phone had vibrated a few times with texts from James...

*Dude, where r u at? We need 2 talk!*

and from Carlos about an hour after...

*Kendall, this isn't funny anymore! Where r u?*

I wasn't planning on talking to either of them. I couldn't stand to hear another criticizing or condescending remark, and I knew for a fact that Logan definitely couldn't handle it after he ran out of the apartment. So, we just stayed where we were, and it seemed like time had stood still and the world was frozen around us.

When I leaned my head up to look at Logan, I noticed that he was starting to doze off. I checked the time on my phone and was shocked. 12:03 am, it read. We had been up here for nearly four and a half hours. "Baby, we need to go. It's past midnight." I nudged Logan awake and giggled when he just groaned and shifted closer in response.

"I don't wanna back," he said sleepily, "I just wanna stay here with you."

I just smiled and kissed his head, "Well, as much as I would love to oblige, my mother is probably starting to wonder where we are. And I don't want her calling the police to send out a search party." I slowly pushed him up into a sitting position, then stood up and pulled him to his feet. I had to wrap an arm around his waist to keep him upright as we made our back to 2J.

I figured and was hoping to find that James and Carlos had gone on to bed a long time ago, but was highly disappointed as I unlocked the door and went inside. My two "best friends" were slouching on the orange couch watching the hockey game that we had recorded from the day before.

Anger built up in my chest again, and it was a good thing that I had Logan on my arm, or else I might have lunged at them.

James sat up immediately, "Kendall, I-" James began before I cut him off.

"James, I would keep the comments to yourself. Otherwise I'll make sure that you're not the "face" of Big Time Rush anymore," I spat at him threateningly.

His eyes widened with fear as he slumped back against his seat. He looked down, and I saw that there was another emotion dancing around in his hazel eyes. Sadness? That didn't make any since. Perhaps I was just seeing things.

Carlos jumped up off of the couch, and made his way over to me, "Kendall, would you just listen to us?" He shouted, his voice wavering just a little bit.

I tensed to punch him, but was stopped when I felt Logan's hand intertwine with mine. I looked down at the shorter brunette, and his eyes were pleading with, Don't do anything you'll regret later. He calmed down when he noticed that I relaxed at his touch.

I looked back to Carlos, who still just a little to close, "Why should I? Especially after the way you guys treated us."

Carlos hung his head as James got up to make his way over to our little circle, "That's what we wanted to talk to you about. But you've got to give us a chance to," he said with apparent guilt marking his features.

I looked down to Logan again, and he nodded. We both must have been thinking the same thing, Let's hear them out. "Alright, we're listening."

Carlos took a steadying breath as he looked back at me and Logan. "We wanted to say...we're sorry."

"It wasn't right for us to treat you guys that way," James jumped in, "You guys are our best friends after all."

"Yeah, we should've accepted you guys for who you are. Not put you down."

"It was wrong. Brothers should have each others backs, so I'm sorry for being such a lowsy best friend."

"And I'm sorry that I called you guys fags. That was stupid."

"Well, I'm sorry I repeated it..." James trailed off, as him and Carlos just stood there staring at me and Logan, waiting for us to say something.

Logan was the first to break the silence, sighing "Guys..." he paused making James and Carlos tense at whatever they thought he was say next, "you know I could never stay mad at you." It was almost funny how fast they physically relaxed. That is until they turned to look at me, who was still a bit skeptical. Then the tension was back faster than a lightning strike.

"What do you say Kendall? You willing to forgive us?" James asked warily. "Still brothers?"

I rolled my eyes and chuckled, "For life," I responded to his question. "I forgive you." James and Carlos grinned so wide, it looked like faces could get stuck that way. They bumped their fists together in celebration before I continued, "But that still doesn't excuse what you guys did."

Carlos' grin faltered just a bit, "I know it doesn't, and I swear to you that we will do anything to make it up to you. Right, James?"

"He's right. Anything. We got your back, guys," James confirmed.

I smiled as our friendship rekindled itself, "Well, we're going to go to bed. Logan's dead on his feet." As if to emphasize my point, Logan's head slumped onto my shoulder.

"Alright, good night. Sleep well," Carlos said as he clapped his hand on my shoulder, as if this whole fight never even happened.

"Night, bro," James called as I walked away from them.

I pulled Logan into our shared room and closed the door. I led the zombie to his bed, and as I laid him down and began to walk to my bed, he grabbed hold of my arm, "Stay with me. I don't want to be alone."

"I'll be right there," I tried to soothe him.

He whimpered a little before he responded, "It's not the same. Please."

I couldn't say no, he was just to adorable when he acted all pathetic. "Okay, scoot over."

I climbed under the covers, and wrapped my arms around my Logan. Hmm, I still can't get over that. The sound of him being mine never ceased to bring a smile my face.

He fell asleep almost instantly. I laid there awake listening to sound of his shallow breathing before my eyes couldn't fight the heaviness that threatened anymore. I placed a simple kiss to his temple, and let my eyes drift close, allowing me to dream peacefully.


	4. Not a Big Deal

Back to the future ( haha, see what I did there? Movie reference. Anyways, onward)

Kendall's POV

We sat eating our finally completed meal in a comfortable silence.

When I finished my soup, I glanced up at Logan to find him staring at me with a certain gleam in his eyes. "What? Do I have I have something on my face?" I frantically wiped my chin with my the back of my hand, trying to rid it of any offending food.

He chuckled lightly at my sudden action, "No, there's nothing on your face."

"Then why were you just staring at me?" I asked curiously.

He sighed happily, "It's just...I can't believe that...you picked me." He looked down at his lap blushing a light pink shade, "There are plenty of better looking guys, and girls for that matter, that you could be with. And yet...here you sit...with someone who's nothing special." He said it seriously, but I couldn't help but laugh a little bit. "Why are you laughing at me? I'm being serious."

I got up from my seat and walked around the table and lifted Logan out of chair, pulling him into a loving embrace. "No, what your being is ridiculous."

"But you-" he began before I cut him off, quite abruptly.

"Just stop." I paused and took a breath. "Do you really not understand how much you mean to me?" He shrugged, still looking at his feet, so I continued, "Logie, you are the most important person in my life. There's nothing anybody in this world can do to make me think otherwise." I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me and chocolate eyes mixed with green. "Don't you get it? I love you, Logan Mitchell. It doesn't take logic to figure it out. Stop trying to see reason, and just go with it. Sometimes the information in your brain isn't the most important factor."

"I'm sorry. I just...I don't know." I leaned my forehead against his, wanting to close the gap between us.

He was so close that I could feel his hot breath on my lips. I had to make him see my point, since he wasn't really listening to my words. And I knew just how to do it.

I leaned forward a few centimeters, letting him close the remaining distance, and our lips met in a soft, passionate kiss. I let all my love and everything I felt for Logan flow through the contact. He seemed like he was finally understanding as he moaned into the feeling of my lips on his.

We broke away, and Logan buried his head into the crook of my neck. "I love you, Kendall."

"I know." We stood there for what felt like hours, but in reality was only a couple of minutes, in each others arms. I finally pulled away and gently pecked Logan once more on the lips. "Want to watch that movie now? We still have the apartment to ourselves," I said pulling him towards the orange couch.

"Are we actually going to watch the movie this time? Or is it just an excuse again?" He eyed me questioningly.

I chuckled at his expression, "Your supposed to be the smart one. You tell me." I sat down on the end of the couch while Logan put in the movie. "What are we watching?"

He laid down on the couch, placing his head in my lap as his feet hung over the other arm rest. "Lord of the Rings," he answered after he got comfortable. "Is that okay with you?"

I placed a kiss on his forehead, and he leaned into the touch, "Whatever you want to watch is fine with me." He turned his head to the screen as the opening credits began. I unconsciously started running my fingers through his soft brown locks.

I had a hard time focusing on the movie as I thought about what had happened when Gustavo and Kelly found out.

Flashback – 10 months ago

I woke up to the sound of The City is Ours, which means that Kelly is calling me, probably to say that Gustavo has planned for us to practice our harmonies and dances for the next eight hours. I groaned and rolled over, glancing at the clock to notice it was 9:32 am, to grab my phone off the nightstand.

"Hello?"

"Kendall, it's Kelly." Duh!

"Yea, Kelly. I knew that already. What's up?" I asked sleepily.

"You guys have rehearsal for your show on Friday. You need to get the studio, pronto! Gustavo wants you here within the hour."

I scrubbed a hand over my face, in an attempt to rub the sleep from my eyes, "Alright, I'll wake the guys. But you know, as well as I do, that James takes an hour alone to get ready. That's excluding the rest of us."

I heard Kelly sigh into the phone, "Please don't get on Gustavo's bad side. I am so not in the mood to deal with him today."

"Wait- Gustavo has a good side?" I fake gasped.

Kelly was getting irritated, "Kendall, just get you butts to the studio. One hour."

I opened my mouth to respond, but was cut off by the sound of the dial tone. "Well, goodbye to you too." I sighed and sent a quick text message to James and Carlos' phones telling them to wake up and get ready then snapped my phone shut.

I laid my head back against my pillow, closing my eyes again. Logan stirred in his sleep, unconsciously tightening his hold on my waist. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder pulling him even closer.

I laid there for a few more minutes, too comfortable to move. But I decided that I didn't want to deal with the wrath of Gustavo today, so I kissed the top of Logan's head, trying to wake him up. "Logie."

When I gently shook his shoulder, all I got as a response was a groan followed by, "Five more minutes, Mom, please," then he released his hold on me and rolled over to face the wall. He resumed a light snore not even 30 seconds later.

I chuckled lightly to myself before trying again, "Baby, come on. It's time to get up. We have to be at the Rouque Records in an hour." I began trailing kisses on his neck starting from behind his ear and moving down to his shoulder. This apparently got his attention as he shifted his neck to expose it a little more, letting me have an easier access to the soft, pale skin.

"Alright," he said still half asleep, "I'm up."

He rolled over to face me with a grin plastered to his face. "Good morning, beautiful." I placed a sweet and gentle kiss to his lips before crawling out of the bed. I grabbed a white t-shirt and a pair of boxers and headed into the bathroom connected to our bedroom to shower.

After getting completely ready, I walked out to the living room, following the smell of bacon and eggs. Logan and Carlos were already at the table eating their breakfast. I heard a faint sound of James' singing voice and the distant sound of the shower running from the bathroom down the hall. Slightly rolling my eyes, I sat down next to Logan while Mom sat a plate of delicious food in front of me. My mouth was watering way before I brought the first bite to my lips. I grunted and moaned letting Mom know how good the omelet tasted.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Logan smirk at me and shove another piece of bacon in his mouth. We sat there for a few minutes eating in silence, until I was caught off guard.

Logan had slipped his hand under the table and had placed discreetly on my upper thigh, while I was taking a sip of my orange juice. I choked on my drink, beginning my coughing fit.

"Honey, are you okay?" Mom asked.

Getting control of myself, I answered, "Yeah, my juice went down the wrong pipe." I tried to clear my throat to get rid of the one last tickle, but it wasn't working. Then I remembered Logan's hand. I shot him a look-

*You need to stop*

He raised his eyebrows-

*Why?*

*My mother is right there!*

*Fine*, he removed his hand, but then grinned at me sheepishly, *Just you wait until later.*

I had to tear my eyes away from his gaze, or else I might have grabbed him and kissed him senseless right there. And how would I explain that to my mom? I looked at the other two people sitting at the table, and they seemed oblivious to our silent exchange.

James finally emerged from the bathroom, still running his lucky comb through his already perfect hair.

"Dude, what to you so long? We have like two minutes to leave." I rolling my eyes at him for the second time that morning.

He scoffed at me, "You guys may be able to just throw something on to look amazing, but it takes time for me to look this awesome," he said as he did his jazz hands in front of his face. We may be best friends, but I still don't understand why he does that.

Logan pushed away from the table, standing up, "Well, if you want breakfast, just grab an apple. I really don't want Gustavo yelling at us more than what he usually does just because we're late."

I stood and placed a kiss on my mom's cheek and followed the guys out of the apartment.

"So, when do you guys plan on telling Mama Knight that you're dating... or gay for that matter?" Carlos asked as soon as we got into the car.

"Random much." I turned in the front to face James and Carlos. Carlos raised an eyebrow questioningly. "We're not really ready to tell her yet. We weren't even ready for you guys to know. You just happened to walk in while we were-"

James threw up his hands, stopping me, "Whoa, whoa, we don't need a recap. We were there, remember?"

I rolled my eyes, as Logan spoke up, "Can we just drop the subject? We aren't ready to come out yet."

The rest of the ride was quiet besides us singing to the radio.

We walked into Gustavo's office with two minutes to spare. A scowl was etched into his features. "Dogs! It's about time!"

We all looked at each other. "Gustavo, we're here on time. No need to yell," I said trying calm him down.

Kelly led us into the room we used for rehearsals; she was followed by Mr. X who was gonna teach us the dance for one of our new songs.

We must have flipped, moved, shimmied, and everything else under the sun for three straight hours. With no breaks either. We were exhausted.

"Take about ten minutes, guys. Then we have to rehearse the song," Kelly said as she walked out of the room.

After she had left, I glanced around the room to make sure that no one was watching. James and Carlos had walked out to use the bathroom and get some water. I looked over at Logan and smirked, "Hmm, now what could we do for ten whole minutes?" I tapped my finger against my chin in mock thinking.

He chuckled and crossed the room, immediately invading my personal space, which I didn't have a problem with. "Would you just shut up and kiss me?" He wrapped his arms around my neck while I snaked my mine around his waist. I leaned down and placed a simple, chaste kiss to his awaiting lips.

"There you go." I started to pull away, but Logan tightened his hold on me.

"You weren't done yet," he said as he crashed our lips together in more heated kiss.

I pulled away a few minutes later, gasping for breath. James and Carlos decided to pick that moment to walk back into the room.

"You know for two people who want this hidden so bad, you sure are being pretty open about it." James commented, as he took in the sight of Logan pressed against my chest.

Carlos jumped in next, "Yeah, anybody could have walked in on you two." He leaned in towards us and whispered as he continued, "It's not a very good way to keep a secret."

I reluctantly released Logan just as Kelly and Gustavo made there way into the room behind the plexiglass wall. We stepped up to the the microphones and began to sing...

your boy boy b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend (3x)  
your boy boy b-b-b-b-b-boy

Have you ever had the feeling your drawn to someone? (yeah)  
And there isn't anything they could have said or done  
And everyday I see you on your own  
And I can't believe that your alone  
But I overheard your girls and this is what they said  
(looking for a looking for a)

That your looking for boyfriend  
I see that  
Give me time you know I'm gonna be there  
Don't be scared to come put your trust in me  
Can't you see all I really want to be is your boyfriend  
Cant fight that  
Let me down you know I'm coming right back  
I don't care at all what you done before  
All I really want to be is your  
your boy boy b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend (4x)

Let me take a little moment to find the right words (to find the right words)  
So when I kick it to you it ain't something that you've heard (something that you've heard)  
I don't know what kind of guy that you prefer  
But I know I gotta put myself or worse  
See I think got the kind of love that you deserve  
And I heard that

That your looking for boyfriend  
I see that  
Give me time you know I'm gonna be there  
Don't be scared to come put your trust in me  
Can't you see all I really want to be is your boyfriend  
Cant fight that  
Let me down you know I'm coming right back

I don't care at all what you done before  
All I really want to be is your  
your boy boy b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend (4x)

If you tell me where I'm waiting here  
Everyday like slum dog millionaire  
Bigger than the twilight love affair  
I'll be here girl I swear

(looking for a looking for a)  
That your looking for boyfriend  
I see that  
Give me time you know I'm gonna be there  
Don't be scared to come put your trust in me  
Can't you see all I really want to be is your boyfriend  
Cant fight that  
Let me down you know I'm coming right back  
I don't care at all what you done before  
All I really want to be is your

your boy boy b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend (11x)  
All I really want to be is your...

Kelly clapped while Gustavo just glared at us, "That was great guys!" she said enthusiastically.

"They were alright," Gustavo countered. "Run it again, dogs!"

We all responded with a unanimous "Ugh!"

After another two hours of harmonies, Gustavo finally told us we could go home for the day. I turned to leave, but I heard Logan collapse against the wall, to exhausted to move. I sat down next and put my arm around his shoulders before he leaned his head down on mine.

"Long day, huh?" I asked resting my head against his.

He let out a deep sigh, "Man, you have no idea. Dancing is brutal. You, James, and Carlos got it so much easier than me."

"Your not that bad," I tried to reassure him.

"Oh please. I kept tripping, and running into everybody. I'm the reason we had to dance for so long. Every time I messed up, we had to start over again," he huffed.

I squeezed his shoulder reassuringly, "It wasn't that bad. And I can't speak for James or Carlos, but I didn't mind so much when you were running into me."

Logan lifted his head off my shoulder, and stared into my eyes. His chocolate eyes so warm. "You're such a tease. You know that?"

I threw him my signature smirk. "I wouldn't have to be if you would just kiss me," I said in a husky voice.

He tilted his head and leaned in slowly. I closed the distance, pressing our lips together in a passionate kiss. His hands tangled in my hair, pulling me closer to him. I snaked my arms around his waist and pulled him into my lap, deepening the kiss. He slid his tongue over my bottom lip, and I granted him entrance without a hesitation. We explored each others mouths as our tongues battled for dominance over the other. It was pretty evenly matched until Logan took total control of the kiss, and I happily let him lead. He pressed me up against the wall we were sitting next too as I broke the kiss off because of lack of oxygen. It didn't stop him though. He started nipping and sucking my jaw, working his way down the side of my neck. I arched my neck to give him better access.

"You know Logie, you're not usually the one with the dominant attitude," I said breathlessly. "It's kinda hot."

He lifted his head slightly to whisper in my ear, "Well, there's more where that came from."

As he resumed his insistent kissing, I didn't even hear the creak open as Gustavo walked in, followed closely by Kelly. "...and sir, that meeting is scheduled for tomorrow at three..." I heard her trail off when she noticed Gustavo wasn't saying anything.

I was too caught up in my arm and mouthful of Logan to notice that Gustavo looked like he was about to blow a fuse. And after a few more seconds, I heard him explode. "Ahhhhhh..."

Logan jumped off of my lap while Gustavo continued to scream. I swear the whole building could probably hear the decibels coming from this man, and I figured I was right when I saw James and Carlos run back into the room, "What's going on?" they asked simultaneously.

Kelly tugged at Gustavo's arm willing him to stop yelling, "Hey! The doctor said that you have to watch your blood pressure. I can pretty much guarantee that all the screaming is not helping."

He took a few deep breaths. "Dogs! Heal!"

All four of us lined up in front of Gustavo, me and Logan's eyes mostly staying on the floor, while James and Carlos were still trying to figure out what was wrong.

Gustavo turned to them first, "Did you two know about this?"

They turned to look at each other, confusion apparent on each of their faces. "What are you talking about?" James said slightly irritated. I guess that's because no one ever bothered telling him what happened.

"Yea, Gustavo, we don't even know what happened." Bingo! Do I know my friends or what?

Gustavo rolled his eyes, "I walked in to make sure the studio wasn't a disaster after today's practice, to find these two dogs," he said jabbing a finger in mine and Logan's direction, "playing tonsil hockey on the floor!"

James turned to look at me, "Way to be discreet guys. I thought you didn't want anybody else to know."

Gustavo cleared his throat getting our attention to him again, "That still doesn't answer my earlier question. Did you two know?"

Carlos sighed while he answered, "Yea, we kinda found out the same way you did. We walked in on them making out on the couch."

"And how long has this been going on?" he asked turning his back to me and a very red-faced Logan.

He looked up at me, silently asking me to tell him so he didn't have too, "About three months now."

"Three months!" he exploded again. I'm surprised he's not having an aneurism.

He grabbed his forehead trying to steady himself. Maybe I thought too soon.

Kelly jumped in to our defense, "What's the big deal, Gustavo? It's practically a tradition for a member of a boy band to be gay." I shot her a thankful glance as she looked at me. She nodded her head as if to say 'your welcome'. I knew I always liked her.

Gustavo didn't seem to take it to well though. "Exactly! Just one member, and they don't usually come out until after the third album; everyone knows that! And if it was gonna be anybody, I thought it would have been James."

James scoffed and folded his arms across his chest, "Hey! I resent that comment! I love the ladies and the ladies...love me."

"Oh shut up, dog," Gustavo bit back. "I mean, look at you. Your hair practically screams 'I'm gay!'

Carlos was trying to hold back a chuckle. "There is nothing wrong with wanting perfect hair!" James was practically sulking now.

I jumped in before Gustavo could do anymore damage to James' ego, "Look, we still don't understand what the big deal is. I really like Logan," I paused and draped my arm around his shoulder and pulled him to my side, "and, no offense, but I'm gonna date him whether you like it or not.

"I second that!" Logan said pointing a finger in the air to get everyone's attention. "I really care about Kendall. There's nothing you can say or do that's gonna tear us apart."

Gustavo sighed and massaged his temple. "Alright, fine." He looked back to us, "but keep the whole relationship on the low, for at least a little while. Paparazzi would have a field day with this information." He turned and stomped out of the room, there's just no other way to describe it.

Kelly started to follow, but then turned around and shot us a reassuring smile, "I'm happy for you guys. You make a really cute couple. Keep each other happy."

"Don't worry, Kelly, I will," I said kissing Logan's cheek. "And thanks."  
Logan looked up at me with worried eyes, "I think...we should probably tell your mom about us."

I raised an eyebrow, questioning his sanity, "And why should we do that?"

"Because, I don't want her to find out the way Gustavo and the guys did." He pulled out of my grasp. "She merits more respect than that. She's had to put up with us here in L.A. all by herself. She deserves to know the truth. And you know I'm right."

I let out all my breath in one huff. "You're right. She needs to know."


	5. Mothers Just Know

Kendall's POV (this is still in the flashback, in case you were wondering):

I stood, pacing around the living room of 2J. Logan was seated on the orange couch, his eyes following every movement I made.

He sighed as I glanced over at him for the hundredth time in about 10 minutes. He patted the seat beside him, pleading with his eyes. "Kendall, baby. Why don't you sit down and try to relax? Everything's going to be okay, I promise."

His encouragement did nothing to calm my nerves, but I took the spot beside him anyway. "How do you know that?" I asked placing my head in my hands. I felt his hand on my back, trying to comfort me by rubbing soothing circles there. It helped. A little. "Nobody else has reacted in a positive way. Why do you think my mom will be any different?" I mumbled into my palms.

"Ok, first of all, your forgetting that Kelly was supportive." I tried to cut him off, but he held up his hand, telling me to let him finish. "Secondly, your mom isn't going to find out like everyone else did. We are telling her ourselves. She'll respect us for that." He smiled at me with his 1,000-watt smile that I love so much, and I couldn't help but smile back.

I took a deep breath, to calm my nerves just a little bit more. "Ok, so how are we gonna tell her? I mean I can't just come out and say 'Hey Mom, guess what? I'm gay and I'm dating Logan'."

Logan placed his hand on my knee, to stop it from bouncing, which I wasn't even aware I was doing. "Well, we are just gonna have to break it to her gently."

Just then, Mom walked by with the laundry basket in her hands. She smiled sweetly at us. "Break what to me, boys?"

Logan looked at me, waiting for me to say...anything. "Uh..." It's now or never, Kendall. "..that...uh...pineapples...are a fruit." So, I chicken out?You big coward.

Mom just looks at me like I need to visit a psychiatrist. "Ok, honey...that's good to know." She turned and walked away, taking the clean laundry to our rooms.

I smacked my hand against my forehead and turn to look at my boyfriend. He's looking back at me like he's trying to figure out why I didn't tell her just then. "What?" Logan just rolled his and stared at the blank T.V. screen. "So, I'm a little nervous to tell her."

"Gee, ya think?" he said turning to look back at me. He sat thoughtful for a moment. "Why don't you start by telling her that you have a date on Friday night? And then, when she asks who it is, you can tell her that it's me." He shrugged his shoulders in a 'no big deal' kind of way.

"Look, I know you think that it's not a big deal, but it is." I huffed, leaning back against the couch.

Logan began running his fingers softly through my blond hair. "It's really not."

I stood up and started pacing again. "Easy for you to say. It's not like it's your mom we're telling. I'm about to come out to my mother. She's gonna be like 'I didn't raise you to be this way, Kendall Francis Knight'," I said, doing a bad impression of the lady in question.

Logan stood and made his way over to where I had stopped in the middle of the living room. He placed a loving hand on my shoulder. "Look, it's gonna be fine. I'm tired of having to hide our relationship in our own home. And I'll be right by your side the entire time."

I took a shaky breath before nodding my head. "Ok, I'm ready."

He patted my shoulder before dropping back down to sit on the couch again. "Hey, Mama Knight. Can you come in here for a sec?" I began to breathe irregularly again. "Breathe, Kendall. Remember, I'm right here."

I nodded my head, watching my mom walk into the room. "What did you boys need?"

She's your mother, Kendall. She'll understand. "I just wanted to let you know ahead of time that I have a date this Friday night."

"That's great honey." Mom said, smiling like mothers do when they realize their kids are growing up. "What are you going to be doing?"

Not the question I thought she was gonna ask, but ok. "Um...probably dinner and a movie."

"Alright, just make sure you two are home by midnight, no later." She emphasized her point by jabbing a finger towards both of us. Hold up. What did she say?

"Wait, wait, wait. What did you just say?" I asked, totally confused.

"Make sure you're home by midnight?" she asked, equally as confused.

"No, no, I mean about us two being home by midnight." I looked at Logan, who just shrugged his shoulders.

Mom pointed at Logan before looking back at me. "You are taking Logan out, right?"

"Yeah." I stood there for a moment longer, baffled. "How did you even know that?"

She just rolled her eyes at me, as if saying 'are you serious?'. "I'm your mother, Sweetie. You can't hide things like this from me." She dropped her voice down an octave, to make herself sound creepier, I guess, "I know all."

I was still quite shocked with this whole situation. "Wait, so you're ok with me..being gay? With us..being gay?"

"Honey, I've been fine with it for three months," She said arching her eyebrows.

Just when I thought she couldn't surprise me more. "Three months?"

Logan finally decided to put his two-cents into the conversation. "You've known the whole time?"

"Well, you weren't exactly subtle about it." I gaped at her. "Please, the lingering touches, the slightly longer stares. I mean, come on. I found you asleep, cuddled up on the couch one night after I came from work. That's when I really figured it out."

"And you're ok with it?" I still couldn't believe it.

"I already said I was." She walked over to me, and placed both her hands on my shoulders. "You're my son. I just want you to be happy. Even if it that means you'd rather date boys than girls. And Logan is just as much as son to me as you are. Even more so now that you're together. His happiness is just as important too."

I just stared at her, shocked she was ok with this. I thought she would have reacted worse than Carlos and James.

"What? Were you worried I would be mad?" She chuckled while she asked. I just nodded. "Well, I was shocked to find it was you and Logan who turned out to be gay. I would have thought James would be the one to come out of the closet."

From out of James and Carlos' bedroom, I heard James yell, "Why does everyone think that?"

Mom rolled her eyes and yelled back, "Look at the way you dress, honey!" She looked back at me and Logan, while James could be heard mumbling loudly in the other room. "You boys have fun on Friday night. I've got to finish the laundry." She turned to leave but then stopped again. "Remember what I said. No later than midnight."

I smiled to myself as I watched her retreating back. Logan stood and patted me on the back. "Well, that was easier than I thought it would be."

"It's funny. She knew the entire time we were trying to keep it to ourselves." I chuckled to myself. "We never had anything to worry about."

"Guess not. You were all nervous over nothing." Logan pulled me towards him, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Now about that date on Friday. Do I get to pick the movie?"

I leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Of course you can. Anything for you."


	6. Happy Ending

Logan's POV

Present Day

We had just passed the halfway point in the movie. I was still resting my head lightly on Kendall's lap. I was so absorbed in the movie that I didn't notice when Kendall stopped running his fingers through my hair. I only realized that he had fallen asleep when I heard the soft snores emanating from his throat.

I smiled up at him and all his beauty (okay, I'm starting to sound like a sappy girl, but it's true. He is beautiful). I kissed the back of his hand that he had draped over my chest, and, very carefully, tried to stand without waking him up. He stirred slightly, but just continued his rhythmic snores. I shut off the movie, knowing it wasn't really Kendall's favorite, so he wasn't getting much out of it anyway. I smiled down at his peaceful form, and turned and made my way into the bathroom to take a shower.

I adjusted the water to the perfect temperature, slipped off my clothes, and stepped under the warm stream of water. I stood for a few moments, just letting the water relax my muscles.

I grabbed the shampoo and worked it through my hair, then I washed my body with the only body wash in the shower, James' Cuda body wash (he probably wouldn't be too happy if he found out I used it, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him).

After I turned off the water, I stepped out and wrapped a towel tightly around my waist. I decided, since I could still taste lunch in my mouth, I would brush my teeth while I was in here.

I went into mine and Kendall's shared room, and traded my towel for a clean pair of boxers and jeans. I turned to get a shirt out of the closet, and jumped when I noticed Kendall standing in the doorway.

"Jeez, you scared me!" I placed my hand on my heart, willing it to slow, while glancing at the floor. I looked back at him, and noticed that he had a slightly worried look on his face. This isn't right. Kendall doesn't worry about anything. He supposed to be our group's fearless leader. Yet, here he is, looking more vulnerable than ever. "Baby, what's the matter?"

Kendall walked over and sat down on my bed, placing resting his head on the palms of his hands. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it." He sighed into his hands.

I wasn't taking that excuse. I leaned down in front of him, and grabbed his hands, making him look at me. "Kendall, it's not nothing. I've known you since we were five years old. I can tell when something is bothering you. Now, spill."

He let out his breath he had apparently been holding in a quick puff of air. "I guess I'm just worried about what the fans will think when they finally find out about us."

"What's making you, of all people, so worried about that?"

"The dream I just had." I didn't say anything, just waited for him to elaborate. "We were on tour, and you told me that you were ready to tell all our fans about us because, apparently, you didn't like that all those fan girls were drooling over me."

I chuckled a little. "Yea, that sounds like something I would do. What happened next?"

He took a deep breath. "Well, I agreed…and…we decided that I would be the one to tell them. We were going to be on a talk show the next morning, so I figured that was the best time to talk about it, since they are always asking us if we are dating someone." I nodded my head, so he would continue.

"When we were on the show, we performed our new song "Worldwide". The first question out of the host's mouth was, 'So, that song seems really personal. Are any of you dating anyone?' just like I thought it would be.

"So, I took the opportunity to tell them about us…and they didn't take it too well." This really seemed to be bothering Kendall.

I ran my hand up and down his arm in a comforting gesture. "What did they do?" I had to know what had him so on edge. It was worrying me.

"Well, I'll just skip ahead to the worst part. When we left the show and went back to Rouque Records…" He paused and took a breath. "…someone had written 'Big Time Fags' on the door."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. "It probably won't be that bad when they find out. In fact, I think a lot of people actually put us together anyway."

"Why do you think that?" he asked looking just slightly more hopeful.

I tapped my chin, trying to think up a decent answer to that question. Oh, I got it! "Have you ever heard of fanfiction?"

He looked up, thinking. "Uh…no."

"It's this website where fans can write their own stories about their favorite TV shows, movies, books, comics…pretty much anything really." Kendall gave me the 'your-point-here' look. I pulled my laptop of my desk, and started searching through stories. "Well, I was on it the other day, and I found a romance story that said 'Kogan' in the summary.

"I had no idea what that meant, but I was curious, so I opened it up. It was a story about you and me. Apparently, 'Kogan' is our couple name.

"So I searched some more around the site and I found, literally, hundreds of romance stories about us. Some were from even before we were actually dating. Do you see my point, here?"

Kendall shook his head. "Not really."

I went on to explain a little better. "People are supporting us, without even knowing it. Just think how excited these fans would be, if they found that us dating is actually true."

"You have a point, Logie."

"Well, I am the smart one, after all." Kendall rolled his eyes at my comment, and then leaned down to peck me on the lips.

He pulled away with a huge smile on his face. "Thanks, babe. You always know how to make me feel better." I kissed him one more time, grabbed a shirt, and headed out to the living room to see if there was a hockey game on.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

Kendall's POV

I don't know why I was so worried. Logan was right. As always. After sifting through those stories on that website he told me about, my worries started to fade. There were some serious hardcore 'Kogan' fans out there.

I also noticed that there were 'Kames', 'Cargan', 'Jagan', and 'Kenlos', which I found to be quite funny, considering how badly James and Carlos reacted to me and Logan.

I was suddenly hit with inspiration for a new song. Everything that had happened while me and Logan had been together would make a great song. Maybe that's how we could tell the fans. I pulled out my guitar and the notebook where I keep all my songs (that no one ever sees, by the way), and began to write.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

Back to Logan's POV

I whooped, rather loudly, and jumped off the couch as the Wild's scored another goal. When I sat back down, I heard a light sound, like the plucking of a guitar. Kendall must still be stressing a bit. He always played his guitar when he felt stressed or worried, or just when he needed to think.

"This wall we built together, there ain't no way of knocking it over. We'll be here forever, getting closer, and closer baby." I heard Kendall softly singing. Then there was a pause. He stopped singing and the guitar strumming stopped.

Confused as to what was going on, I got up and made my way over to our bedroom door, staying out of his line of vision. The playing and singing started again.

"Cause the world stops when I put my arms around you, around you. And nothing even matters. And nothing even matters."

I had no idea Kendall wrote songs. This was really good. I walked into the room, and he immediately stopped playing. "Don't stop. It's good."

"You think so?" I nodded my head. "I wrote it for us. I thought maybe this is how we could tell the fans."

I smiled at him, reassuringly. "I like that idea. Let's go play the song for Gustavo." I grabbed his hand, and pulled him off the bed.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

And Back to Kendall's POV

I couldn't believe Gustavo actually liked the song. He said we were gonna record it immediately, and sing it during our next live performance, which was in three days. So we had to start rehearsing now. I happened to leave out that we were going to tell our fans we were together. I didn't want Gustavo saying we couldn't.

I called James and Carlos and told them to get their butts to the studio.

Ten minutes later, we were in the recording booth with song sheets in hand. The song was sung perfectly. Gustavo was even happy with the outcome, which was rare. The rest of the day was spent with Mr. X teaching us the dance moves to our new song.

Much like the time we had to prepare for our first concert, we spent the next two days on a mock stage setup, rehearsing over and over again, to make sure the song was perfect.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

No One's POV

After much rehearsing and hours upon hours of harmonies and dance practices, the day had come for the boys to perform their new song.

They stepped out of their limo where the outdoor concert was being held. Big Time Rush was one of three other bands that were singing. It was some benefit concert where all the money that's made goes to save the whales or something like that.

They were going to be performing three songs; 'Big Time Rush' (obviously), 'The City Is Ours', and then they would end it with the new one.

The first band, Heffron Drive, was already performing. The sound of the screaming fans was deafening. The stage manager of the whole event made her way over to the boys, with her headphones around her neck.

"Ok guys, you're on in about five minutes, after this band finishes its last song." The guys all nodded their heads, and she walked away, yelling incoherently into her headphones.

"I'm gonna go grab a corndog off the snack table," Carlos said already halfway there.

James followed him saying something that sounded like, "That's not good for your voice. Don't you know hot tea with lemon is what you should drink?"

"They are so crazy." Kendall stood there shaking his head at his best friends.

Logan laughed. "Yea. So…are you ready to tell everyone about 'Kogan'?"

"Never been more sure of anything." Kendall smiled and wrapped his arms around Logan in a loving embrace.

"Let's do it then." They turned around as the two members of Heffron Drive made their way off the stage.

"Hey, aren't you the guys in Big Time Rush?" The lead singer asked as Carlos and James came back and stood next to Logan and Kendall.

"Yea, why?" Carlos asked with his mouth full of corndog.

"Just wanted to say good luck out there. We are big fans of yours." He said shaking Kendall's hand.

"Thanks. That means a lot coming from you." The two turned to walk away, as Kendall added, "You guys were awesome, by the way." They waved to say thanks as they got into their limo.

From the stage the boys could hear the announcer of the event, "And now, welcome to the stage, Hollywood's newest singing sensation, Big Time Rush." The crowd erupted into cheers as the four made their way onto the platform.

They breezed right through the first two songs, now it was time for the big moment. Kendall's heart was practically leaping out of his chest.

"Before we sing our next song, there is something I want to say." Kendall looked over at Logan who nodded his head for him to continue. "I wrote this song about four days ago. It talks about being in a relationship with someone that you love so much, that nothing matters what anybody says or does, you're in it for the long haul. I hope you like it. It's called 'Nothing Even Matters', and I'd like to dedicate it to my best friend in the entire world…and my boyfriend…Logan Mitchell."

Back stage, Gustavo choked on his drink, and yelled, "What did he just say?"

The music began to play, and the crowd cheered as they sang.

(Eh!) Cause the world stops when I put my arms around you, around you. (oh woah)

And nothing even matters (eh)

And nothing even matters. (eh)

It's like one for the haters, two for all of those who try to shut us down.

They don't really know. There ain't nothing they can do that can tear us apart. No.

I don't care about the money, don't care about the clothes. When we're together, baby, anything goes.

We don't even need to prove what we feel in our hearts. No.

This wall we built together, there ain't no way of knocking it over.

We'll be here forever, getting closer, and closer baby.

Cause the world stops when I put my arms around you, around you. (oh woah)

And nothing even matters. (eh) And nothing even matters. (eh)

They can all talk, say what they want about us, about us. (oh woah)

And nothing even matters. (woah)

And nothing even matters. (eh)

It's like the sound goes off and the people all freeze.

They disappear and it's just you and me.

Anything you want to do, anything that you please. (oh woah no)

Forget about our problems, forget about our past. I've seen the future and I know we're gonna last.

Every second I'm with you just goes so fast. (woah oh woah)

This wall we built together, there ain't no way of knocking it over.

We'll be here forever, that I told you, that I told you baby.

Cause the world stops when I put my arms around you, around you. (oh woah)

And nothing even matters. (eh)

And nothing even matters. (eh)

They can all talk, say what they want about us, about us. (oh woah)

And nothing even matters. (woah)

And nothing even matters. (eh)

Nothing even matters. (woah) A

nd nothing even matters. (woah)

We don't even need to fight. Everything will be alright. (oh yea)

Nothing even matters, but you and I.

Cause the world stops when I put my arms around you, around you. (oh woah)

And nothing even matters, nothing even matters.

And nothing even matters. (wooaah)

They can all talk, say what they want about us, (Say what they want woooah) about us.(oh woah oh)

And nothing even matters. (woah) And nothing even matters.

(They can take my money, take my cars. Oh woah oh woah)

Cause the world stops when I put my arms around you, around you. (oh woah)

And nothing even matters, nothing even matters.

And nothing even matters. (Baby)

They can all talk, say what they want about us, about us. (oh woah)

And nothing even matters. (woah)

And nothing even matters.

As the song came to a close, the fans applause rang in their ears. Kendall draped his arm around Logan's shoulder, and pulled him in for short, but sweet, kiss. Every girl in the audience, which was 98% of the group, 'Awww'd' at the sight.

Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos bowed before heading off the stage. Kendall and Logan's worries were finally over for good. Gustavo was so pleased with the crowd's response, he didn't even yell at them.

Kendall stopped walking after they got off the stage. Since Logan was holding his hand, he got tugged backwards.

"Why'd you stop?" Logan questioned of the taller boy.

"I'm just so happy everyone is ok with this." He gestured between them.

Logan smiled and looked up into Kendall's bright green eyes. "I love you, you know?"

"Yea, I know. And I love you." Kendall didn't hesitate to lean down and kiss Logan's waiting lips.

They didn't care what anybody thought about them anymore. They had each other, and as their song says, "Nothing Even Matters."


End file.
